Fear of Failure

9 Nov 2013


As I was walking from my class to my dorm last time, I couldn't help to not notice the amazing nature around me. The leaves of the trees falling, making a carpet of orange leaves (yeah, as you may have noticed already, I'm kind of in love with the whole fall season) when suddenly a strong wind came. All of those leaves on the floor formed a hurricane like shape, I got a bit scared to be honest since Kansas is known for hurricanes, at least thats what people told me. I was just casually walking when all these leaves came flying over me. "The attack of the leaves" type of movie. Although it was scary at first, watching those orange leaves fly away, flowing with the wind, going in its unknown direction...it made me reflect on my life.

One thing that is constantly ruling my life is fear of failure. And reflecting through my life, I came to the realization that that annoying friend of mine had always been with me. For a very long time actually. I can say I've done the things I always wanted to do like being part of the basketball and soccer team, play electric guitar and piano and doing dance lessons. However there are still many things I wish I had done. And I didn't get to do them because of fear. I also feel like I could've done the things I did way better like play basketball better. I remember every time it was time for me to go on the court I used to freaked out so much that I literally started shaking as I was doing the harlem shake. I was so scared that I would play so bad and mess everything up. Now that I look back at those times I just wish I didn't feel that way. Not only when I was about to play basketball but also in soccer season or when I had to perform a choreography or do something else. Fear was ALWAYS there, right next to me. Don't even get me started in my academics. That is the biggest thing I fear of. I fear that I would fail massively in academics and I have the right to feel this way because of the IB Program. It's been hell. My grades were so bad and for a perfectionist that is very very bad.

To make the story more positive, now in college, I'm doing great! Well, so far at least. I'm getting mostly A's, although I'm procrastinating now and then (what can I say? I'm human too). Although now that academics its being taken care of (at least for now), I still have that fear of not succeeding and of not being good enough. Now, the thing is that I know for sure that Im not the only person who feels this way. There are so many people who also have fears. Sometimes we let those fears take care of our lives completely that we feel lost and don't know which direction to take next in our lives. It's pretty darn scary and is not a good feeling to have. That uncertainty of the future, that you have no idea what might happen: would I succeed? would I fail? Would I be someone in life? Would I make my parents proud?

Yes, fear sometimes can limit us in doing many things we want to do. Luckily, we have so many inspiration in this world that either with words or actions can makes us feel that those fears we are having can go to hell! Life is too short. I know I know, you guys had probably heard this so many times but its actually true. Last time I remember I was turning 16 and partying with my friends. Now I'm 19, in college. Times flies so fast is insane! So if we live in fear all the time we shouldn't call it "living". You are LIVING when you are doing things that make you happy! things that you enjoy, that makes you feel good, that takes your breath away! Maybe some of these things require a little bit of getting out of your comfort zone in which is when fear comes in. I totally get it. But we should start owning what we really want to achieve and make fail kiss our bums!

It will definitely not be easy at first but having a positive mindset that you can achieve it, it will help tons. Like this pair of fashionable and talented twins who own Dsquared2 once said that if you don't try you will never know if it would work or not, and that if you fail, you wouldn't fall in the same place you've started, you can never go backwards, only forwards.

It's kind of like a jungle out there! And we should start behaving like a tiger and show everyone that we can roar! louder than a lion, which reminds me...

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